Whenever I don’t cave to my mom’s narcissistic needs she often quotes the lyrics from Fleetwood Mac’s landside….because I built my life around you is the line she often references and about how we both are getting older as if this is supposed to smooth over the anger I feel when she Infantalisation’s me. It has been 2 very powerful healing months, finally out of her radius I feel like for once I own my own emotions, free to express myself and as if my body is now rejecting a bad drug, I now purge her toxicity from my life and now seek a healthier life.
The text get frequent about every three days she tries texting me where she insist she loves me, wants me to come see her before I move (she is under the impression that I am leaving the state, just going somewhere else in town) however my biggest concern is she has formed an unhealthy obsession with my son where she is now plastering her Facebook with old photos of my son and 1 of me(from when I was 12) saying the way we were, texting me about how she will always love him, now she is vandalising my vehicle writing in black marker on the backs of my seat I love nana, leaving paper as if my son wrote ” I ❤ nana I mis nana I can cul her nana xxx-xxx-xxxx” obviously i won’t post her number on a public blog. However if she really expected me to believe my son did this why would you do something that would get him in trouble because regardless of how he felt there is no excuse for vandalising our vehicle, let alone just because he is autistic doesn’t mean he can’t spell and since he doesn’t use a phone and I dial for him there would be no way for him to know anyone’s number by heart.
Once again I wait to speak with the officer handling my harassment report to see what I can do, someone needs to help with this because if she goes to drastic extremes to harass us with no end in sight, no help, I will employ drastic measures to protect my family. I hope with voicing my fear of her kidnaping my son they will take my complaint more serious. All I can say she is incapable of logical thinking which makes her a threat to those who she has set her focus on. if she can’t leave us alone I imagine she will do almost anything to keep us in her sites, always thinking of her, but if she could only see the woman who has risen from the ash of us, she’d see how strong I am, how lethal I could be and how I will fight back, I will stand up for me because I am worth it, my family is worth it, we all are. My weapon is to act like I don’t care, really I don’t I see her attempts as pathetic, I got all the things I wanted in life and without being a manipulative bitch riding on the backs of others, everything I have was derived from love. I learned from an early age what I didn’t what to be (like them) and suffered in silence as part of a mentally screwed up faucet striving for status and power, they often rubbed elbows with the big heads of this town and had hoped I would have married into one of the big names in this town.
So two months later, if anything I feel towards my mom, its anger, it use to be this sad empathetic to her frail being that always thought but that is my mom, I can’t do that….now i realize she is only thinking of herself and I need to do the same, I move forward and am angered by her constant interjection and treating me as a possession. my anger doesn’t rage over my life because I am not trapped by her attempts, I get over it as if only a minor annoyance because truly it is, I have the people I care about in my life and she has no one she will never be able to get the fill or supply she needs with those she has now. Therefore she needs me more than I could ever need her. I am free.