It seems whenever I decide to deal with certain issues pertaining to my narcissistic family I always have the same reoccurring nightmare where I woke from a slumber to find myself in the home of either my grandmother or my mother and am desperately trying to find a way out of there without them knowing I was there in the first place. I always awake in the tip toeing escape, but this time it was different. I was dreaming as if I almost was willingly some place with my grandmother discussing my mother’s actions as if to tell her why I didn’t want them in my life, she of course tried to shush me concerned over the fact of worrying what other’s would think and try to avoid all embarrassment if she could. I didn’t respond to her shush, I kept talking, and told her all that I needed to as if she better listen or she was going to miss the message.
I hope the message behind the new dream is I will never be trapped in their prison again, but it more than likely means I fear ever being like this again. If it were possible to use dreams to build the confidence and self assertiveness we needed in the real world, I could imagine a thousands angles to work my dreams like magic to show myself what I already subconsciously know they only have as much power as I give them. Maybe the reason for my nightmares is to remind myself not to be trapped by them again.
I think the best I could hope for at this point to help with the day I run into them in public is not to view her as my mother, but an obsessive crazy person. Whenever she tells me how dare I that she is my mother, reintegrate no you are a controlling bully, making good of my acknowledgement of that , I take away the power she tries to regain over me. I hope one day she will be a distant thought far from my mind and no longer a nightmare I have to worry about.