Mother’s Day is approaching and I wondered how I would take this day as it came, for the first few months of this journey have been filled with sadness of the things that I realize and can not change. Slight jealousy over women my age who have a great relationship with there mom, sadness when I see sentimental mementos intended to be offered to one’s mom and would rush past not wanting to look and if I did wanting to turn what I read away from me.
At first it just seems like a holiday you’d much rather avoid, because the one you have doesn’t seem worth celebrating, in fact you kind of knew she wasn’t worth celebrating long before you walked away because you knew you wouldn’t get away without paying tribute, you often wanted to avoid the usual greeting card, if you had to you searched for one that was simple and to the point “Happy Mother’s Day” avoiding mushy all together, if you could help it you tried to avoid an outing, you just looked for a gift that would make her beam thinking she is loved by you. Not that you didn’t love her, just that she didn’t leave you much to dote about.
For one’s that are mom’s themselves, allow yourself to get caught up in the days events, don’t get hung up on your relationship with your mom, but find a way to be swept away with a fun family activity on your day. Since my father’s birthday falls on the weekend of mother’s day I’d like to have a family meal with him and my step mother which I am now more affectionately referring to as my parents, for me it gives me a sense of belonging without really needing to explain to people my history.
I think when this day comes instead of focusing on your relationship with your mother you should focus on your relationship with your children. Don’t let your mom’s lack of motherly love affect your ability to be the loving mom you can be to your own children and enjoy whatever special way you decide to celebrate. If you don’t have plans for the day, don’t have kids, make your own plans, find something that helps you get through the day.