Hear me roar

Published August 30, 2013 by PeachyKeene

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get over my anger of my mother’s lies, it really is hard for a narcissist to admit their wrong. They still proclaim where other’s owe them tribute. At first I thought the way to be better and feel better is to take the high road and forgive her. That will bring peace to my life. Now I’m not so sure that this is the way to feel better or will bring about the things I want for my life. It’s better to let her know if she sees me that I am angry because she won’t understand my peaceful stance and walk right over as she does it every day she lies to the world about the dysfunctions of our relationship. She tries to minimize her fault in me walking away from her which shouldn’t surprise me and for someone who presents her life to the world on facebook it amazes me how much she post about god and in between those post are family problems and pic post from the net about alcohol. Wonder if her friends pieced it together that she post about god is because she needs him because she is broken she hurt her family and looses herself in alcohol.

As I am realizing there is nothing that says I have to forgive, I am allowed to be angry and should be I just don’t have to carry it with me all the time. It needs to be there to give her the point that I am not going to ever give her the opportunity to walk all over me ever again.The important part is I am now finding my voice and I think Katy Perry’s new song Roar really captures how I feel…

I just feel like making my voice known to her that I am not going to take it anymore and for a future blog I am going to discuss the lack of support you get when moving on without a parent. There is still a Hugh range of nonacceptance, but it is being more readily done to end cycles of abuse and pain.

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