I think sometimes we open ourselves up to other possibly narcissistic people latching onto us and taking advantage of our kind spirit. Sometimes we fail to recognize it right off the bat, but eventually it catches up with us. As long as we are able to be assertive and pry these emotional vampires off of us and keep them from sucking us dry we shall be fine.
I met this woman through local community events and online facebook yardsales a few years back before I went no contact with my mothers family, she seemed kind she saved me her coupons, we’d sometimes get together for coffee. She had medical issues and didn’t work. In the last year her marriage fell apart and she was sleeping on her husband and his new woman’s coach, she tried moving home to her parents, but they just couldn’t take her son so she moved back and took up residence on their coach until the woman of the house demanded she had to leave.
My heart went out to her to be stuck with no place to go and since I thought of her as a friend invited her to come stay with us after discussing it with my family. It was highly recommended by my closest friend that I don’t, she quizzed me all about her and my choice and tried giving me pointers if I insisted. In two months the charm of this woman had worn off and I would soon regret my decision to volunteer my help. I was all to welcoming in the beginning and I guess I should of known something was off if I was the only one stepping up to the plate trying to help her with a place to stay, I mean where were her friends? On the grand scheme of where our relationship fell I was more of an acquittance than I was a friend yet I was the only one gracious enough to offer her a place to sleep.
It mostly seemed she had stories of friends, but none who were particularly close to her and were more friends of her and her husband as a couple than just her. A big clue I should of had she was a narcissist is when I asked if she had a close friend she made up excuses to why she did not (most narcissist aren’t able to keep long term friendships and if they do it is often with someone who is incomplete themselves and makes the narcissist feel important or someone they view being the same high status as them, I witnessed it in my own families friendships). I decided to include her in hanging out with my friend hoping she would have a chance to alleviate my own friends fears of deceptive people taking advantage of me and give my new house guest a chance to make a new friend.
Things didn’t go as I had planned, my friend would often tell me something wasn’t right with my new house guest that the woman rubbed her the wrong way, that she got a single white female kind of vibe off of her and felt she acted entitled. Things kind of blew up in a big way with my friend telling me she just couldn’t come to my house and would prefer our time together to never include my other friend. Which one day my house guest realized my friend didn’t like her and she asked me “she doesn’t like me does she?” and I don’t have a good poker face as I find it hard to go around carrying the burden of lying to someones face and just admitted that she didn’t. She held up her hand in the form of a goose egg and said “this is the amount of f***s I give, I give 0 f***s that she likes me!” I looked back at her stunned like it would of been fine if you told me it’s ok I don’t like her that much either and left it be, but to me it felt like the first insulting dig as my friend( I’ll call her Chris) is someone who is like a sister to me as I have been friends with her since I was 7, so to have her tell me in that way she didn’t care was definitely rude and should of been saved for someone who isn’t her friend.
As time went on I would be able to make a laundry list of all the completely frustrating things of why I wanted her out of my life.To long a list for just one blog and almost each subject could be one blog in itself. Keep tuned into my blog as I chronicle the behavior of a narcissistic roommate who is inept to personal boundaries, need for constant attention and praise, and the final straw that had me asking her to leave and questioning will she go like I asked.