Boarding a Narcissist: When their promises equal lies

Published April 17, 2015 by PeachyKeene

They often make promises they can not keep and everything is in the way it is worded so if you were to mention it it is completely deniable. When  Fiona asked for a place on Facebook she admitted to not having much, but would help when she could. As a word of advice unless every detail is mapped out never commit to such an arrangement. When I agreed to let her in her promise to help out was just as vague as her open statement on facebook.

She chronicled the last place that her ex found her complaining of how vile the living arrangements were and the previous deal they had worked out with the last person they had got to board her. She spouted on about how much she had to do in the previous places she lived and that she could pitch in. Key word Could….but sadly she wouldn’t. I knew her resources would be tight as she only got cash assistance some of the time and the only constant was her food stamps.

In the course of 5 months I maybe got a value of 60 to 70 dollars in groceries each month, not even necessities and $30 cash for her entire stay. Sure she didn’t have a lot, but I guess the truly upsetting part of it was she did stupid things that cost her money and whatever stupid things she wasn’t doing the cash was going to her retail therapy.

After her first month of living here just before Christmas she had shoplifted from a store, they didn’t arrest her, and she kept it to herself until after her court appearance she ended up serving 5 days in jail and having fees of $315 to pay. I never did find out what was worth that much that she had to steal it instead of pay for it or ask someone to get it for her although she admitted to having the cash and just making a poor choice. However what upsets me is when she can buy herself things, show me what she got herself and offer no true cash contribution. I find it insulting that someone can show you what they would rather their money go to then contributing to the house that took them in when they said they had no where to go.

Even worse is her lack of contributing to household chores, my brother primarily washes the dishes while I take care of things like cooking and household needs. She said she could cook sometimes and wash dish loads in between. As time progressed meal prep was a total of 5 times since she lived here not that anyone is complaining about that,but it was her lack of doing household chores that upset people. She would always attempt to get my family to take care of her including the messes she would make. My brother would complain to me that she decided to make some food item and left the mess for him to clean in the kitchen. She didn’t want to do anything  and often complained in an attempt to get others to take care of them or even her. One day she came out of the bathroom claiming she had no upper body strength and could we come plunge the toilet for her.

It got to where everyone would complain about something different on a different issue that I just asked them to find their own way to handle it. I informed my brother to quit washing the special set of dishes she brought with her that are hers and anytime he sees a mess she made tell her she isn’t done in the kitchen as she didn’t clean the appliances she borrowed.

She was even to bothered to even pick up after cat messes, one of my cats pooped on the floor near the litter box (they do this when they want their box cleaned) and she waited for me to come out of my room to tell me she did so I can clean up the mess and though I know it’s my cat I would expect someone to be decent and clean it so someone doesn’t step in it or just be courteous cause you saw it when it first happened, I know I have done it for her with her cat except for she thinks her cat is a perfect little princess who does no wrong, seriously she comes up to me and asks if I think her cat is the cutest kitty in the world and when I tell her I’m partial to my cats she still tries to insist to my face that her cat is better.

So in the 5 months she has been here she has paid me in groceries and cash for one months worth of rent as she doesn’t do anything physical to contribute to the house and with each package that comes in the mail that she orders herself I resent her selfishness even more.Not only because she is not contributing, but I know she has 3 children she doesn’t even pay child support to. Not to mention how much she asks me to buy her and just offers the I’ll pay you back. I can only wonder what pay back means to her. Just know they never follow through on promises. Words are easily manipulated and at the end of the day all you feel is frustrated when all you wanted to do is believe them.

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