It’s something that happens all to often as they view the world around them to be an extension of themselves. They often expect their request to be carried out without hesitation and they do not understand when their opinion isn’t wanted. The reason they disregard boundaries is because they think the world is there to serve them .
When Fiona first moved in, I was very accommodating and without even thinking let her move into our lives without establishing some rules.it always starts off small , but once they are comfortable the boundaries they cross are endless. She didn’t care how much of your time or money she wasted,where her opinion wasn’t wanted,or how uncomfortable she made you feel.
She had a habit of making you wait exorbitant amount of time as she went up and down each aisle in the store and didn’t care that my husband had been working all day and wanted to go home, if I wasn’t feeling well , or was left sitting in the car for an hour.she’d make request and would seem upset if you didn’t comply. I will only go into a store at off peak hours (unless not having much option in needing to make a trip during peak hours ) and as I was heading out to take my husband to work she requested I pick up a 2 liter of the only thing she ever drinks Coca-Cola since it was during a peak hour I told her I didn’t want to go into the store . She scoffed at me and I looked at her like excuse me? She quickly regained composure and said well can I ride along and go in to get it and I said yes.
she’d often drop request on me assuming I’d do them. She would wait for us to be going out the door to tell me some place else she needed to go which was out of the way and the next town over . Personal favors were deligated , she thought she was going to be the next big youtube reviewer and she thought she was to good to use a laptop to film her unboxing videos, one day after picking her up from the bus stop she says to me I need you to film me unboxing the new subscription box I got and I said no when I get home I’m relaxing and watching a movie. So she tries to see if she can guilt me into doing it by saying ” I guess I could use my laptop but I just don’t like the quality . ” I ignored her statement and went straight to my room when we got home .
Then we can’t forget the constant intrusions on the conversations that were within ear shot of her, my husband would ask me a question and she would interrupt me answering him to say what I already was telling him, she’d catch a tail end of a conversation and try to add to it, any moment I had with my son noting how he was growing into a young man would soon be made conversation for her to shout down the hall to make sure I know her son is growing to. Any conversation I had she felt she needed to be a part of which made it especially difficult to have moments between my husband and I . If she couldn’t hear what were talking about she’d ask.
Crossing Boundaries means they test the waters to see what they can get away with if they can get away with not paying a dime and letting you do all the work they will . Since they don’t understand boundaries when you set them they will often think you are over reacting and will look for other ways to try and manipulate you. Prime example is the reason I asked Fiona to leave.
My husband is the one to get our son on the bus in the morning and when he returned home he decided to play some video games, Fiona woke up and eventually complained her back was hurting and asked my husband if he could rub her back for her. He told her no and told me about it saying how weird and uncomfortable it was that she asked. I was stunned, I’ve never had someone who is supposed to be a friend ask my significant other for such an inappropriate favor that I was at a loss for how I should handle it . I spoke to single and married friends a like about it being upsetting and all of them told me I was justified in wanting her to leave though my husband has no interest in Fiona it doesn’t mean she’d stop trying.
It was the reason I told her she had to move and I gave her until the end of the month. A week passed and I tried telling her I wanted to be cordial with her and make the situation less awkward. The surprising part is she really didn’t get it and wanted to talk to the both of us because she wanted to resolve it as the smallest thing can fester into something bigger. I told her it’s not a negotiation she crossed a line and we wanted her gone. She even tried to lay emphasis on how she’d be homeless and has no place to go. I was firm and stood by my decision , though I would hate to see a person homeless to me it’d be worse to have someone in my home trying to weigh down my marriage. So now the count down begins 12 days until I am free, she says she found a place and I can only cross my fingers and hope she leaves sooner than that.