As Fiona went on cohabiting our home we on an almost regular basis saw selfish acts as she purchased herself fun and unnecessary things while my husband worked hard and i tediously managed a tight budget. It was one of our many frustrations with her and why we wanted her to go. However nothing tops when we asked her to leave.
I think it’s absolutely true that you learn who people are when faced with difficult times. I had asked Fiona almost 2 weeks ago to move out and after over a week of seeing nothing moving decided to ask her for a progress report on her keeping with the deadline we gave her. She did say she found a place and since most of her things were in bags it would be easy to transport it with little need to pack, anything that needed packed she’d do this week in between her doctors appointments.
She started with the kitchen, at first I was delighted to see some pantry space freed up from her ridiculous amounts of snacks, but as the days carried on I would learn the extreme selfishness she would exhibit. She began to pack up some of the household condiments she said were a contribution to the house making it further seem she really hadn’t given a damn thing to the house.
As she plans her move, she informs me she has nothing for her kitchen and if I had anything I could spare she greatly would appreciate it. Then the other morning she approaches me about where I had put my living proof shampoo because she wanted to use it. Her toiletries aren’t packed up yet so there is no need for her to use mine. I guess for me the frustrating part is to know she contributed very little and of the things she contributed she has since then taken them back and now expects me to provide for her. Which I guess it shouldn’t be surprised that she is so extremely selfish as I witnessed in our daily life.
She often called dibs on things that she had no entitlement to. I bought myself a beautiful mug for hot beverages from a thrift store and placed it in the sink to be washed, she noticed it and commented to me how pretty it was. My brother washed it for me and I thought when I got home later that night I could have some hot tea in it, upon returning I see it sitting back in the sink and my brother asking me how I liked my new mug now that he seen it was used and back in the sink, when I said I never used it she says oh i did it’s a really awesome mug. Maybe I shouldn’t of felt so upset, but I guess I like to be the first to use something I bought for me and felt that she could of washed it and put it back in the dish drain if she couldn’t resist using it.
I feel those who surround her are there as her pawns to serve her needs, The place she found to move is with a 20 year old guy who is obsessed with her, she has shown me his creepy stalker like messages and never has she told him to get lost, she just thinks she can tell him not to like her and they can be friends, she avoids him when he goes all gooey on her. I feel she was never mean to him because she knew she would need to use him one day and now see the extent she will stoop to just to have her nice things and a roof over her head. I to some degree feel for him, but at the same time it is his own obsessive behavior that leads him to this siren.
The Narcissist only thinks of themselves and it’s best not to match a battle of wits there is no winning with a narcissist, there’s only hope of escaping without to many deeply cut wounds.