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All posts for the month August, 2015

What’s to come?

Published August 18, 2015 by PeachyKeene

In all this craziness I was dealing with from my parents there was a friend I had made a long while back, she was the daughter of one of their friends, and as a couple my husband and I befriended her and her boyfriend and talked about interest and the world.She hadn’t seen me in awhile and when running into her she apologized for not being over at my parents that much, that my step mom was just to dramatic for her and when my step mom talked about my upset with her she told her she didn’t blame me. She said I really enjoy talking with you and your husband, but I just prefer to stay away from all the gossip. Funny part is sometimes your frustration with a person can unite you and sometimes you end up comparing notes.

I found her to be very trusting of my confidence and she talked about things that I have wondered a zillion times if anyone noticed and thought it to be abnormal when it came to the dramatics of my step mom. How you can tell the woman before almost each sentence that you don’t want to know and she spills it anyhow. There are new details she made me aware of that I’m now realizing I have an army of cluster B’s around me. How her father is tired and fed up with her, he refuses to go to the vow renewal and every time she calls about going to the hospital (she runs to the emergency room a lot and calls everyone just to let them know she is going) he asks what did you make up in your head this time? That many people have plainly told them to their face that they think they are running some sort of scam hoping for gifts by renewing their vows as this will make their 13th year married. I have been drying to say so many things to them, but I know if I did Drama would ensue. I wonder who else she asked to be her Bridesmaid (possibly my step brother’s awful girlfriend), how they can afford a renewal ceremony as they are often broke as soon as they get paid and often are borrowing money from others, why their 13th, did they know people only renewed their vows once so they could maybe reserve something that is suppose to be special for a more significant anniversary.

As I wonder why another cluster b type I have to be grateful that she doesn’t hold great skills of manipulation over me. I have often seen her phone my step brother when I am over and I often thought she did so because he was running late or his job was around the corner and she wanted him to pop in and say hi to me. I soon learned she is so heavily invested in my step brother’s life that she calls him at least 10 times a day and if he doesn’t answer she becomes angry, that when his job use to be right around the corner from her house that her friends were out with her and she’d insist driving by his job real slow to see if she could see him on the property driving up many roads of the complex he worked. Funny I thought she was driving me nuts with her daily call or text when she wanted to discuss something, every time she thought of another question or detail she would phone me.

I was feeling so anxious about the fall, my mother in law coming during our anniversary no less and their renewal of vows. Then I finally got the guts to send an email of how I wasn’t the right fit, that I knew they would invite my brother’s girlfriend and I don’t want to be in the same room with her. How I don’t know how they can attack my marriage and a month later announce they are renewing their vows and want me to help celebrate and uphold their marriage when they couldn’t do the same for mine. I said I will not take things lying down, that it wasn’t right that they disrupt my happiness for my step brother’s drama and I have elected to take time for myself and will reconvene with them in December. I know they read it and are trying to figure out an angle to make me give up the boundary I just set as she tried to reach out to her friend’s daughter about the message I sent and she was told she would not be involved. It’s to much to hope for a cluster b type to go away peacefully, she more than likely will drive past my house if she is ever up this way and try to figure a way to manipulate me in giving in early.

Worse of all is my dad is her enabler, he will never stand up to her and will often side with her. During one of my arguments with her about her treatment of my husband and I she got my dad to call and leave a voicemail that I needed to stop as she is the closest thing I’ve ever had to a mother. I once told him his wife was crazy and he said yea I know, but clearly he would never address it. So hopefully there will be some calm at least for awhile but I bet anything there will still be a storm.

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This feeling just isn’t going away

Published August 15, 2015 by PeachyKeene

I haven’t been back to my father’s since the argument, trying to make them understand how hurtful they were was pointless as the best apology they could offer is “sorry for whatever we did.” We resolved to drop it, and they gave their standardized statement of it being in the past. Now they moved on to wanting me to be excited about them deciding to renew their wedding vows and want me to play bridesmaid. Those closest to me tell me not to do this for them, they say if you are anything less than excited then it’s not the right thing to do and you shouldn’t do it out of obligation.

So when they first announced their decision, I guess since I was the only one that didn’t say what a crock of shit it was, my step mom would think of another detail and call me, and in the grand scheme of things for ruining my birthday she now wanted to plan a girls day to buy me a dress for their ceremony. When she called to try and make plans to dress shop I was out of town visiting with a friend I hadn’t seen in a few years, which since they don’t keep up with me forgot I was away. When I saw she tried to call I sent a text that said I wasn’t going to be near my phone much this week and if it’s an emergency I’d get back to them otherwise I’m busy right now. She called and left a voicemail wanting to make plans to dress shop. I didn’t return her call so the next day my dad called and left a voicemail. I knew he was grasping straws because my dad will just say hey call me back and now he was saying things like sweetie to me via voicemail.

I managed to not hear from them in almost a month, but my failure to not return their call hasn’t made them catch on to the fact that I really don’t feel like speaking to them. As much as they would like to march forth as nothing is wrong I think they finally cracked me, I’m just so tired of having my heart ripped out of my chest and for the first time I can taste my hatred for them. I honestly feel like walking into my families house and stabbing a bowie knife into their dinning room table and saying yeah I just pulled the knife you stuck in my back out. It just isn’t the first time that I was treated like the one in the wrong, I’ve been stolen from by one of my step brother’s ex’s and my parents got mad at me for confronting her they refused to believe she stole from me until I moved out and she started stealing from them next however my step mom is still friends with that girl, they let one of their friends move into our family home when I use to live with them and they expected me to cover her share of the expenses and pitifully cried when I decided to move out even though they allowed her to be crude to me.

So yeah I finally reached the why am I trying to make them feel better here? I don’t feel any better and pretty sure I never will cause I know when it comes to me vs. the world they do not have my back, they don’t even try to defend me or my family, but they sure can lean on us expecting their horribly cruel behavior to be tolerated, accepted, and otherwise ignored. I’m actually feeling anxiety mounting and I’d rather hide until it’s 2016. I can’t fake good cheer with people who are assholes.

Nothing like your parents teaching you that you can’t count on anyone.