All posts for the month January, 2016

Being true to yourself has consequences

Published January 4, 2016 by PeachyKeene

About Mid December I mailed my father a letter telling him I wanted nothing to do with the family he married into, that I was tired of being hurt and people expecting me to put up with the cruel ways they treated me, that I knew his wife had talked to my mother and I felt so betrayed. That my dad needed to sort out his priorities and decide if I was someone that mattered to him. I love my dad, but the truth remains he is his wife’s enabler , he has seen her behave in the most awful ways and never addressed her cruelty he just follows her lead.

A family friend of ours told me my dad was angry at her telling her it was all her fault, that it took one of her many attention seeking E.R. visits to get my father to break the silence. She even turned to them asking them to lie to me and tell me that they were moving out of the state which they refused to do, instead they told me about their odd behavior because they couldn’t understand why she would want to lie to me about something like that.

Then a few days after Christmas I received sad news that my cousin had passed away, she was so young with so much life ahead of her. We were more than cousins we grew up like friends. I went straight to my grandmother’s when I found out and not surprisingly they didn’t tell her we weren’t speaking when she asked him to share the news with me. As I grieved the loss of my cousin, my dad’s wife came up with her next lie and had one of her friend’s deliver it. I should of known no matter how kind you think a person is if they are friends with a snake they’re probably one to.

Despite the fact that My dad’s wife and I were not getting along I kept people on my facebook that were her friends who I considered to be kind, I looking back on it realize how foolish it was as the fact remains they were her friends, I just don’t like to base my judgement of others on one persons opinion unless that opinion is my own. So her friend let me see how far her poison could sink as her friend wrote on my wall the same message she sent to me privately That my father and his wife were splitting and she was moving out. I didn’t respond, I spoke with family which it was confirmed it was a lie. Not even during a family tragedy does a narcissist back off instead they behave worse.

Then I found out how foolish I was to think I’d ever get to have a relationship with my dad. As I thought he should know what has been going on as well as us try to start the new year off right, I attempted to call his cell phone so I could speak with him without having to speak to her and she answered his phone. I hung up feeling so let down, he really signed himself over to her which the only way to have a relationship with my father meant enduring the abuse and drama. In that moment I knew our chances of having a relationship were slim.

My father has a type…. “Narcissist”. Which leaves me parent-less. I just wish I had known like a decade ago what I was dealing with.