Conditioned

Published June 30, 2017 by PeachyKeene

You know that expression always trust your gut instinct? Believe in it, it never lies. The start of my relationship with my husband came from my failed relationship with his friend (ex friend now). The guy wasn’t very nice, he used people, he used my husband, he used me, what can I say we know how to attract them. I hate to say it, but my husbands judge of character is worse than mine.

When his friendship fell apart with this guy, there was a third friend, he chose my husbands friendship over this guy. The reasons became obvious, but disappeared with the excuses people made for his behavior and I tried believing those excuses until very recently my gut instinct made all the previous reasons resurface of why I should of trusted my gut instinct.

In the beginning of my husband and I relationship, we would hang out as friends, there were times his friend would be there, I worked overnights so on my nights off I would be awake at all hours, I’d catch my husband online and suggest grabbing a late night snack at sonic, followed by a walk on the beach, we’d just kind of chill until morning. Then there was a morning we all crashed at my house, my husband drifted off to sleep before his friend and I did. I couldn’t fall asleep after what happened next, his friend laid behind me and he stretched for my hand as I pulled it away, and whispered into my hair “a girl like you only comes around once in a lifetime, twice if a guy is lucky.”

I sprung up, unable to fall asleep with how this guy made his apparent feelings for me known, I didn’t understand how he couldn’t see it was his friend that I like(my husband). I thought he got it, as he watched my husband and I progressed into a relationship, I thought he knew there was no point in liking me anymore, I thought he got over me. I saw him go on to date other girls and I believed my husbands excuses for his bizarre behavior of “it’s because he grew up in foster care!”

At the back of my mind I always thought what is with this guy he is acting so strangely and it was always passed off with an excuse of growing up in foster care and a lack of love. From the one extremely bizarre time he tried to crawl into bed with my husband and I, to the time he tried laying his head in my lap, to the frequent hugs, all of it reasoned away. He’d blow up our phone every 15 minutes until we answered and agreed to let him come over. It was excused and reasoned away until I had no reason not to trust him, he became such an engrained piece of our lives, he was always there, and practically lived on our couch until he eventually just started living with us.

However everything changed, just this past year, things I was taught to trust were lies and my gut had been right all along, this guy was weird and his behavior would prove to me why I shouldn’t ignore it and then when I look back, what can you say hindsight is 20/20 and it showed me some very disturbing facts and only made me question how deep this obsession he has with me goes. I’ll get into what I began to notice in my next blog, otherwise this one might get to be too long.

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