As my friend and I discussed in great detail the things that were becoming to hard to ignore, Mr.A’s laser focus on me, I couldn’t help, but ask my husband do you notice these things? am I crazy? cause I don’t think I’m imagining it, I don’t want his attention, but I see I am getting it.
Then my husband admitted that he knew his friend still liked me after him and I began dating. He didn’t know in the ways you can see a friends interest and have to reel them away, his friend openly and blatantly said to him that he knew that I liked him and I was going to be his, this coming from him months after my husband and I first moved in together. I was stunned to hear this, after I was told to excuse the things I found weird about him as simple misunderstandings related to how he grew up.
Before anyone starts to wonder what is up with my husband, he is a sweet rather passive man that people tend to take advantage of, sometimes he struggles with finding genuine friends and struggles with telling people what is bothering him, he too has cluster b parents, instead of struggling with confrontation he chose low contact and moved more than a 1000 miles away from his mom and his dad moved more than a 1000 miles away from him, but he’s come to terms with that actually might be a good thing. Since our relationship has begun I have seen his parade of looser user type of friends, occasionally he finds a good one, but his judge of character sometimes leaves more to be desired for.
However back to the reveal, when my husband let the words slip over his lips, I was stunned, I wondered how he just didn’t tell this guy to get lost, I mean most people would except for those who feel they deserved it or must keep quiet in order to get people to like them and he definitely was that guy, before me he was friends with ex girlfriends that cheated on him, he was the nice guy people used to feel less shitty about their shitty behavior. It didn’t make it feel any less violating, if I wasn’t made to believe I was to rash in my feelings and he was deserving of my friendship, if I had known this I would of never got close, I would of never been ok with it, I would of never been sold on his sob story because I would of known it was only a story to get me not to trust my own gut.
Realizing this, I now was seeing our relationship with him with the directors commentary I wasn’t able to hear until the movie was made, it played back every detail with an omg gut wrenching realization that had I ignored what others said and listened to my own commentary, this story would be completely different and he wouldn’t be so enmeshed in my life right now.