So you’re probably wondering what memories swirled in my head and came flooding back with a commentary over them now that I’m looking back and seeing things with perspective? I can remember the first time I rejected him for starters, the moment I thought he knew to move on. We all were hanging in a group of people, my best friend was there, I remember her feeling bad for him, I told her about the move he tried to make, and he was taking it hard watching my husband and I holding hands, it was the beginning stages of our romance, when my best friend trailed off after him to make sure he was ok he tried to kiss her, she stopped him in his tracks, rejected more than once by 2 women in the same crowd.
I even think about the moment I first rejected his advance towards me, him and I goofed around, making jokes, playfully pulling each others hair, I thought we were becoming friends, until he reached for my hand and said what he said(see my blog conditioned) I didn’t want him to think things had to be difficult or weird that there was the option of friends, I playfully pulled his hair and he? he placed me in a headlock that I could not escape(see complete sociopath, can’t even handle rejection) I guess he didn’t realize it was only going to play up to me liking my husband even more, I called out for his help and he helped me, he bent his arm behind his back and knocked his ass to the floor and directed him that he was never to do that to me again. What girl doesn’t like a man who can protect her?
I think about the first event I was invited to by my husbands family, we said he could chill at our house and as we were leaving he thought he was hysterical by rubbing his stinky armpit in my hair, I came close to not going to the party, I looked kind of sloppy showing up with wet hair because I had to wash it. The creepy things he said like I remind him of his birth mom, the truly bizarre things I was given excuses for like him laying his head in my lap or trying to hug me a lot. His need for me to approve of the girls he dated, the way he looked (not that he’d change it to appease me).
The time my husband had his accident, he waited at a friends apartment that lived in the same building as me waiting for me to come home when he read about my husband on facebook. He offered to be there to help, he did help, but I remember the first night of the accident and him being there, I couldn’t sleep in my bed without my husband , I told him I was going to sleep on the couch, when I woke up he was starring at me, when I wondered if I slept at all he assured me that I got at least 2 hours sleep. I couldn’t even get him to come see my husband in the hospital, it has to make you wonder what was going through his mind?
However I was conditioned not to believe the worst and as I broke away from my mom’s family, I was scared and weak , we agreed to let him move in with us so there was someone in the house when I picked my husband up from work. He tried acting like my protector wanting to kill or beat up anyone that hurt me, if I made my husband confront him on a issue he wouldn’t talk to him for days and want to remain chummy with me. He would always tell me when my husband was doing something that would have me upset with him, it was hard to say it, but I told him to quit telling me things like that, that it felt like he was purposely being destructive to our marriage.
He loves to see my husband and I argue, he beams from ear to ear as he looks at me. He walks away or looks away when we kiss, usually with his face in his palms. Just insidious layers of me being his sociopathic prey.