Maybe my tactics of weaning him off of me are working? I do know he tries to get more creative with his need to have my attention when his usual methods don’t work. Our communication has finally drifted into once every two weeks when he gets paid and I collect rent from him. I think the final thing that caved his house of cards is me finally having enough and verbally putting him on the spot in front of the others he purposely ignores.
It was the day after our concert, we were home, not feeling entirely enthused to get back to home life as I was still exhausted from the concert we decided to go out to eat, my husband, my best friend, and I came down the stares to Mr.A reclining on the couch, he waited for my husband to exit the room before asking how I liked the concert (he never asks the group that all went how we liked something, just me) so I say “Don’t you mean “we”, how did “we” like the concert?” and then say to my friend and husband “how did “we” like the concert?” My friend and husband piped up about what a great time they had well I stood silent, panic flushed over his face once he realized I was on to how he often doesn’t include others in the house.
The weeks that followed have been met with no longer engaging me when I am with a person he choses to ignore which has restricted him to only talking to me on pay day. As these interactions transpire where he has the full benefit of my individual time for about 15 mins he now is speaking over my radio. He likes to brag about himself in this time and has even quit pretending that he cares how my day is as he no longer ask how I am, just how he is the best sales person at his store and when their district manager is expected to be there. I say nothing, let the radio blare on and kind of hibernate in my mind , to tired to even acknowledge much of what he says. Ironically he can speak for hours about the job he’s found, but says nothing about the fact that he’s dating.
To me it seems kind of crazy that he thinks he can hide that fact, I can feel when a person is different and notice things, so I’ve noticed his changed behaviors before I had it confirmed that he is in fact dating. For someone that boasts about all the women that flirt with him it seems funny that he would finally start dating in the weeks that followed my verbal reprimand and for the first time it’s the first female he’s met where he didn’t insist on us talking as if he was expecting my approval of her. Which I have seen her page and from what I gather they are in the first month and there doesn’t seem to be a honey moon phase, she has posted things that suggest she isn’t sure if she is being played and he never responds to her tags unless it gives him a chance to brag.
For my sake I hope it works out because I am hoping he’ll quit zeroing in on me. I decided despite my awareness I will say nothing to him because I’m sure any mention of such will suddenly make him think you care, which my own reason for caring is to feel less engulfed by him, it’s a relief to see some effort to move on even if superficial.